WELCOME TO THE SHIT SHOW

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WHAT? WHY? WHERE? I seem to be asking myself those types of questions everyday.  What the hell is going on?  Why does life seem to suck so much some days?  Where did I put that?  Everyday I feel like I ask question upon question yet rarely get answers.  Or at least any that make sense to me. My days often consist of a small battle going on in my own little brain over the stupidest things.

ADHD, ahhhhh, so much fun.  I can get bursts of idealistic energy and am sure I can reorganize my entire kitchen in a day.  I mean top to bottom scrubbed, organized, looking pretty.  You know how often that has actually happen?  I big fat ZERO.  I will start by pulling stuff out of a bunch of cupboards and placing then on the counter.  At some point I will come across an item that shouldn’t even be in the kitchen.  I think to myself “I better put this in the bedroom before I forget”.  Off I toddle to my bedroom, my mind buzzing with happiness because I am being productive,  where as I go to put it away I notice some stuff in the closet has fallen off the hangers.  Better fix that. Oh, I haven’t worn this in years maybe I should get rid of it.  Well I might as well go through my whole closet. Half way through that I now have a pile of laundry I should throw in.  Off I toddle once again still feeling productive.  Into the laundry room I go, start the load of laundry, only to notice the machines could use a wiping down.  Well now that I cleaned them I see the floor needs sweeping.  OMG….I am feeling drained.  I think I can call it a day.  I walk back up and into the kitchen only to look around at the disaster left in my wake of “productivity”.  SHIT!

Lets face it.  We all know that this disaster is going to hang around until I can get another hyper energized burst so until then, I’m going to go chill in another room so I don’t have to see it and will probably forget about it until I need to get a drink or something.

Introducing Diablo: Our New Cane Corso Puppy

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Well, we have once again decided that we are allergic to peace and quiet. I obviously feel like life needs more chaos because we now have a puppy.

I would like to introduce you to Diablo, a 10 week old Cane Corso who is living up to his name already in the short span of a week that we have had him. He is already a whopping 30 lbs and I find I often forget just how young he is because of his size.

Look at the size of his paws. He is going to be a big, big boy. Male Cane Corso’s average weight is about 99lbs – 143lbs but his dad was 190lbs. His lineage are all very large so I am curious as to just how big he will grow to be.

Right now he loves to explore the house. Check out the cats, who don’t really seem to mind him. Wants to hang with our older dog but she is a bit of a twit and doesn’t want anything to do with Diablo right now. He loves to nap on the couch and often does so with “dad”.

We are starting with the training right off. We know we need to get a good foundation before he is as large as us and way more powerful. Did I mention teething? Yes, he is teething and trying to chew on everything. He is hearing “NO!” quite frequently but does get lots of praise for not treating my floors like his personal toilet.

Diablo was a big Christmas gift in our house and I am sure as he learns what he can and cannot try to eat everything will be great. On to more adventures with this beautiful boy.

Until next time – stay sane!

SIBLINGS/PARTNERS IN CRIME

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Many of you have siblings. Some close in age and others not so close. I myself have a brother who is almost 13 years my junior. We never really had a close relationship as the age gap was just a bit too much for anything in common. I love him but we aren’t “friends”.

I have 4 kids. Out of all of them, my two youngest are the closest. They are the most similar and both can equally piss me off. They are 4 years a part in age but have so much in common. Music, games, activities….they are like 2 peas in a pod. They are both giant goofballs who like to poke my buttons and laugh about it together. I love that they are so close but sometimes I want to bang their heads together.

They look sweet don’t they? All calm and chill. Don’t be fooled. These little heathens can drive a woman to drink I tell ya.

In our house we use sarcasm, swearing, dark humour, and goofiness as a way of life. I guess I am at fault as to what they have turned into huh? Well, I can tell you that even though there are days I want to throttle them, I am very proud of them. They do not follow the herd. They think for themselves and aren’t afraid to stand up for what they believe in. So I must have done something right.

I hope that the special bond that these two have will continue through life. It is a very special relationship that they have. My son is what I refer to as “my daughters person”. He is the one she wants when she is upset or hurting. He is the one she needs when life is hitting hard. As a parent it is an amazing thing to see. Just because people are “siblings” it doesn’t mean they have to like each other. These two really love each other and that makes a mom proud.

Well, that was just a little something as I haven’t been on lately. Life can be very distracting. Until next time – stay sane.

SHARING MY PHOTOGRAPHIC JOURNEY

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I have decided I will continue posting some of my pics on here. I am far from a professional but they make me happy and I enjoy taking them. I hope someone out there enjoys them as well

Lonely Prairies

Something Wicked……

Reflections

Subtle Smile

Highway Tunnel of the Past

Doggie Thug Life

I hope you have enjoyed these images. I will be posting more as I go out and capture pictures of whatever strikes my fancy at the time.

Until next time – stay sane.

LOVE HELLO, HATE GOODBYE

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So about 3 weeks we ended up adopting ANOTHER kitten. This wasn’t on me this time but on my hubby. He saw a picture of the little one and fell in love. All I got was a text with a pic and the words “Go get her”. Let me introduce you to our newest family member……Mystik

She is a beautiful little girl but after she got comfortable, her personality started to show. Should have named her Menace, or Mayhem…Chaos? You know how it can be with a kitten and she is just about the same age as the other one we adopted only a couple of months ago. Those two are best buds and often play or nap together.

Now many people may think we are a tad nutters to have 4 cats and a dog. One senior and 3 under 2 but when you see how sweet they are you would understand. I would rescue all animals if I could. However, the craziness wasn’t meant to continue. .

Our oldest boy, Machu, was adopted with his bonded brother about 7 or 8 years ago. I am always bad with exact dates, but at least that amount. He was the type of kitty who would come to you for attention. Reach out with his paw to grab your arm so you would pet him. Not a snuggler but still loving.

My pretty boy had to survive the passing of his bonded brother about 2 years ago, then 1.5 years ago he had a stroke. He powered through and although he couldn’t be considered 100% he was pretty close. Unfortunately, he recently became very ill. We had to make the most difficult decision the parent of a fur baby has to make. Would I have loved to keep him with me? YES! If there was a sure outcome of him surviving and having a good quality of life would I still get to cuddle and love him? YES! I would have done anything, but that wasn’t an option. Yesterday we let him go into a deep sleep to be free of pain and were with him until the end. Every pet deserves to know you were there and they were loved until they are gone.

I can only take some solace in knowing that I gave him a good life. He got love, treats, companionship, and even whipped cream (just a dab) every now and then. I will always have a place in my heart for this boy. He was a pure soul. No hate, just love.

Rest in Peace my baby boy.

Until next time – stay sane.

FINDING A LITTLE HAPPY

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I have recently got back into a bit of my photography hobby. My favourite images are black and white, usually landscapes or objects. I need to spend some time getting my larger cameras up and going again, its been a bit, but I have been playing a little here and there. I just thought I would share some of my images with you today.

“Tiny Home”

“Years Gone By”

“Contemplation”

Those are a few of my pics and I am hoping to really get out and find my passion for it again. I am by no means a professional, (although I can brag that one photo I did years ago was purchased and used in a text book on mountain striations), I do enjoy finding pleasing images in every day life.

“Self Portrait”

Until I return – stay sane.

NATURES LIGHT SHOW

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The world today seems to be a place filled with hate, stress, anxiety and all around tension. I miss the world I once knew when I was younger and we didn’t have access to negativity everyday, anywhere, and at anytime. I myself try to do the reasonable thing and watch funny animal videos to stave of the negativity but you cannot always escape it.

The other thing we can do is to enjoy the beauty that there is in the word as well. Last night we had a bit of a light show provided my Mother Nature. Now, my pics are not the greatest as my good camera is in need of some cleaning but I did what I could.

Anytime I know that there are Northern Lights or a beautiful sunset I try to take a bit of time and look at them. When there is beauty around you the negative stuff just goes away for a little while. When feeling like everything is shit or just too much, find that thing that can make it go away for a bit. To bring you peace.

I will keep looking for the beauty around me. I would like to suggest you do the same. Until next time-stay sane.

Is Speech really free?

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I had been thinking about what I wanted to post about next when something happened yesterday that just horrified me. The assassination of Charlie Kirk. Yes, I say assassination because that is what it was.

Charlie Kirk was not everyones cup of tea. He was very out spoken and ruffled many feathers at his events. I do not agree with everything he said or did, but I do appreciate the fact that he challenged people to question their views on society. The problem is that mainstream society didn’t always approve of this. In most cases I find that people like to keep things as they are, or at least how they perceive that they are. Why stir the pot right? Why question everything we were taught growing up? Why expand our awareness of alternate thought processes going on in the world?

There are people ranting that he got what he deserved. A world that allowed guns and his death was a ironic. NO, no it wasn’t. Just because you believe you have the right to have firearms does not mean you condone senseless violence with them. Having the right to own firearms does not make a person dangerous. The person who uses one in violence was dangerous to start with. They just chose a gun as their weapon of choice.

“Freedom of Speech” is a term thrown around quite often in the US. The majority of citizens believe that it exists but does it really? Or does it only exist to a certain extent based on the majority of the peoples beliefs? Charlie would go out and speak his truth. Beliefs that he held down to his very core. Yet, someone who didn’t agree with him decided the only way to stop his expression of his freedoms was to kill him. Not debate with him, write a complaint or hell, the very best of all? NOT TO LISTEN! Do you know what this is teaching society as a whole? To use Freedom of Speech is to live in fear. Fear of reprisal. Fear of hate. Fear of being ostracized.

I could hope that a tragedy such as this could bring people together but I fear the division amongst our society has grown to such a chasm that this may not be possible. In closing I just want you all to remember that Charlie was someones son, a husband and a father. He was a person who used his right to free speech to openly express his views and did not deserve for his life to end the way it did.

Remember, you always have the choice to walk away. Until next time, in this messed up world, stay sane.

Am I Numb or normal?

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As mentioned previously in another post I have struggled with anxiety for a very long time along with other issues. I have been on a new medication for just over a month now and I can feel the difference. The issue is I cannot tell if how I now feel is normal or am I numb?

Anxiety caused me to care and worry to excessive amounts. I cared about things I did in the past, and I am talking 30+ years in the past. I cared about what people thought of me, I worried about the present, past and future. I worried about my kids, my health, happiness, life, lack of a life, you name it and it was running through my head in a thoughts marathon. Now? Its quiet. I am not constantly fretting over some current issue or imagined issue. My head feels quieter and in a way it is freaking me out. Is this “normal”? I honestly have nothing to compare it too. I am still scatterbrained with ADHD so Its not total hushed but nothing like it was.

There are moments when I am sitting at my desk where I find myself pondering if I really just don’t care about the vast amount of crap I worried about anymore or if I am slightly numbed by the medication. I don’t think I know how to function when not in a constant high tension fight or flight mode. Now I am more of a “MEH!” mentality.

I have to say that before I was on this medication I would stress about what was wrong with me. Why couldn’t I just settle my brain and focus on the here and now. Why was I worried about Christmas in 8 months that lead me down a windy path of thoughts to retirement in my future. My train of thoughts are like the Doctor Who definition of Timey Wimey. There is never a straight line but multiple branches that all loop around and connect to what might appear to be unrelated subjects. This is how I have functioned for decades and I am now at a bit of a loss.

I think there may be a bit of a learning curve here. I don’t need to be ready for flight. I never really did but my brain tricked my body into thinking there was. I guess I better figure my shit out then. Until next time-stay sane.

NEWEST FUR BABY

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Just over a week ago I decided to adopt a new kitty to go along with my current brood. Notice I didn’t say “a new pet” when starting off. That is because they are all members of our family. Yes, they are pets but they are more than that. They are like spoiled children and in all honestly, I don’t think we truly own our cats. I’m pretty sure they own us. We are the servants who feed them and have the utter joy of scooping their poop.

Let me introduce you to our youngest cuddle buddy, Snoopy

Snoopy on his first day home

Snoopy was adopted from the local SPCA at 19weeks of age. He apparently was surrendered to the shelter at only 3 weeks.

I had a some traits that were necessary for the adoption. I needed a cat that was good with dogs, good with other cats, and young enough to give our almost 2 year old hellion a playmate. This boy fit all the boxes, was super cuddly and so very happy. His little engine was constantly going. He has fit in wonderfully with the other pets. Took about 3 days before he was free to roam and mingle freely.

Snoopy with his new friend Talliah

Talliah, our 7 year old pup is enamoured with him and has been great with all of our cats. Talliah is also a rescue put we adopted at an estimated 1.5 years of age. She had been surrendered after being hit by a car and suffering a hip injury. She is a nervous girl who doesn’t trust easily but once you get past the wall she has up she is the most loving fur baby ever.

Machu and Echo

These are our other 2 kitties that own our household. The boy with the beautiful eyes is Machu. He was part of a bonded pair, his buddy was Picchu, but he unfortunately passed away from cancer about 1 year ago. He is about 14 years old and has survived a stroke. The little void laying next to him stretch out like she owns the basket is Echo. She is turning 2 and was found on the street at night at about 8 weeks. My daughter found her and well, we kept her. Personally I think her name should have been Chaos, or Princess of Darkness with her attitude but Echo it is.

Our house will always have fur babies. They make the house a home. The newest addition just makes it even better. I am never alone. When I am sad or even crying, Echo will reach up to touch my face with her paws while mewing at me. I always have some love in this house.

Snoopy in his little kitty Teepee

well, that is all for this time. Until next time – stay sane.

GHOST TOWN ADVENTURE

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Over the weekend my kids and I decided to go on a little adventure and check out the ghost town of Neidpath in Saskatchewan. This town had it’s first post office established in 1909 and was left to crumble when the railway abandoned that rail route in 1981. Below you will see a few pictures of the two grain elevators still standing, sort of, out of the original 4.

I think my appreciation for sites of the past came about from my step-father. He loved everything about the past. He would take us camping for 2 weeks every summer at some ghost town site to explore. I would see him out there with his brimmed hat and metal detector in hand looking for lost little treasures. He also introduced me to visiting old graveyards. Nothing disrespectful, but to just read any headstones you could to get a sense of the history. I in turn have passed on this admiration to my kids. I grew up surrounded by antique items. Not the fancy and expensive furniture but the small everyday items that people used in their daily lives. Metal tins that once held kitchen spices and old bottles. An old barber chair he hoped to one day restore and the bubble photo of his grandfather in his military uniform on the wall.

I love when I can take a closer look at the once inhabited dwellings and try to imagine what life was like then and in that town. Open fields all around and the big never ending sky above. The day was warm but with a nice breeze blowing across the prairies. At one time people lived there. Worked, went to school, played, laughed. Now there are a few old buildings left to slowly deteriorate back to the earth.

This was once perhaps the home of a family. I looked in at the old single kitchen faucet and old stove trying to picture how this was once a cozy home. Its hard to picture it when you see the state in which it has become.

Not too far from this old house we found a church. The entrance section of the building had separated from the main portion and in the field adjacent was an abandoned car. Why would someone just leave their car? We will never know.

I love to go and explore places like this. I am out of the house getting fresh air and I am enjoying the moment. Not worrying about now, the next 5 years or even further. (Thanks anxiety!) I am just in the moment and the past.

I hope you enjoy the pics and maybe these will help inspire you to go out and explore. Until next time-stay sane.